i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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