I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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