If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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