all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
