i just wanna soil my oats bro
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
