Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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