just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
