Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize