Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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