I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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