She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
