he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
