why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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