I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
