Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize