Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
