Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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