exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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