I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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