Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
