Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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