You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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