he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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