What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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