he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
