just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize