Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
