She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
