You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
