Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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