At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
