oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
