the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
