Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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