There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize
