ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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