Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize