it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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