Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Randomize
