Whod you bang
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
