Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize
