i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
