she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
