i jhust puked up my retainher.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
