Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
