Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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