Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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