I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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