I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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