Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
