smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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