i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
