If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
