no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
