too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
